Island Friends - Part 6 | Empty Beanie Blog - tin foil - Cooking

Island Friends - Part 6

Posted by JMD - 02/26/09 at 07:02:42 pm

As luck would have it the two men were rescued the next day by a sightseeing tour helicopter that saw the smoke coming from the island. They were brought to a hospital in San Francisco to be treated for exposure and minor injuries but were released a few days later.Scolnick said good bye to his friend, making sure to get his information so that they could forever stay in touch.

В В В В В В В В В В В  “Anytime you need anything, Henry, don’t be afraid to call,” said Mitch during their last moments in the infirmary together. Scolnick was shocked to see as he walked out of the hospital that the parking lot was full of news reporters and they were all waiting for him.

            “How did you survive?” barked one reporter.

            “Were you able to resist the deliciously sinful temptation of homosexuality?” barked another reporter.

            “How many jelly beans are in this jar?” barked another reporter, holding aloft a jar of jelly beans.

            “Arf, arf, arf?” barked a seal.

В 

Scolnick couldn’t believe it. He was surrounded by media attention for weeks after the event. Meaning had finally been attributed to his life and he was riding on a wave of pure pleasure. In the supermarket he ran into a woman holding a tuna steak who recognized him from TV.

В В В В В В В В В В В  “My name is Susan,” she said to him. “Aren’t you that guy from the plane crash who was stuck on the island?”

В В В В В В В В В В В  “That’s me,” he said completely incredulous.

В В В В В В В В В В В  “Why don’t you come home with me? I’m going to make you a very happy man for the rest of your life.” Scolnick was elated. He dropped his Lean Cuisine in his cart and threw his arms around the woman.

В В В В В В В В В В В  “You smell like you know what you’re talking about,” he said rubbing his nose up against her ear.

            “Oh sorry, I think that might be the tuna,” she said. Susan grabbed his hand and they started moving towards the checkout line.

В В В В В В В В В В В 

And Scolnick’s luck did not stop there. A public relations firm in San Francisco approached him to do a series of commercials for a diet program. The only problem was they didn’t have a product for him to promote. Henry suggested an island aerobic workout where willing customers were dropped on a deserted island to fend for themselves for a month.

В В В В В В В В В В В  “It’s like Survivor but without all the other assholes!,” he exclaimed.

Not only were they interested in having him promote the idea, they were so impressed with his vision that they decided to give him a position in the company. A new job and a new woman. I’ve got to go find some faces into which this will be thrown, thought Scolnick, proud that he had learned to stop ending his thoughts in prepositions.

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February 26, 2009 | In General

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